Friday, November 29, 2002

i finished my dinner - the dregs from the pretzel bag. god, my feet are freezing. i tried to grab two hot packs from the supply closet and put them in my shoes, but they've run out. henry is a heavy hot pack consumer. so why did this hospital have to be in minnesota when it could just as easily been in florida or california. and why are there no good looking people (other than laurie) with sick kids. it is probably that all of this is so trying it makes people look more drawn and forlorn than they normally are. but this kind of pain and suffering does appear to hit the less fortunate disproportionately. what's up with that. probably all of the medical needs of the rich and good looking are met in florida and california. liposuction, subtance abuse that sort of thing. i'll just have to settle for curling my toes around henry's very toasty urinal.
this is from the other night.

if you want to know what this life is like, the next ten minutes or so capture it as well as anything. i haven't gone to sleep yet because the night has been filled with anxiety, caregiving and trips down the hall to the washer dryer. i'm cleaning our clothes and henry's soiled underwear. he's been having accidents. it's the second night in a row with little-to-no sleep.i don't feel so great and am worried i might be getting sick. getting sick isn't an option because i'll be of no use to the person who really needs to be cared for. it is hard to get any sleep on my fold out chair which is a good foot shorter than i am.